I LOVE YOU MOREReading: John 21: 15-23
Often the postscript to a letter is the most important part, containing a vital part of the message. What we’re going to look at now brings that first moment of recognition into glorious technicolour. If it was love at first sight three years previously, then that love had been through many fiery trials to emerge at a place and a time where both Peter and Jesus knew that that this love was forever. The postscript, as it were, to that very first real encounter takes place also at the lakeside and, in particular, in the walk that Jesus and Peter have together after breakfast.
After the redemptive remembering, he and Jesus go for a walk by the lakeside. It must have been a very special time. Perhaps Peter felt very glad but also slightly anxious. Because it was Jesus, Peter knew that this wouldn’t be just a relaxing stroll after a meal. There would be a purpose to it. He’s right! They haven’t gone very far when the challenge comes, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these others? Then feed my lambs.” It’s interesting that Jesus calls Peter by his old name of Simon, the name that was his before he started on this journey of faith with Jesus, and not only Simon, but Simon son of John. It’s as if he’s bringing his past, his present and his future together in these moments as they walk together by the lake. “This is who you were, Peter; and this is who you are now but you are in the process of becoming the rock upon which I will build my church. I want you to feed my lambs, the poor and the little of the earth. I want you to take care of my sheep, the ones who are already on the road and need to be pastored. I want you to feed them, to nurture them in the faith. In order for you to do that I need to know that you love me.” Jesus knew that Peter loved him. He asks the question for Peter’s sake, not his own. And he asks it three times! This really upsets Peter. He doesn’t know what other way to say it, but Jesus has a reason. It’s as if each question wipes out each of Peter’s earlier denials and with each response, “You know that I love you”, Peter is commissioned to be the shepherd of the flock, a flock that does not belong to him but to Jesus who died for them and rose again that they might be liberated into the Kingdom with all that that implies of forgiveness and healing and hope and right relationships and, above all, love. And it is love that will enable Peter to endure to the end when he will stretch out his hands and be taken where he doesn’t want to go. Jesus knows already the kind of death Peter will die, a death that will bring glory to God and he hints at this in their conversation, ending with the words, “Follow me.”
Once again Peter is being led deeper into what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. On this occasion he is gifted with another moment of recognition, namely just how much he really does love Jesus, and he’s been learning slowly what a costly thing love really is. Perhaps at this moment he feels he’s had enough of the spotlight on himself. He looks over his shoulder and sees John, the one described as the beloved and he asks, “What about him, Lord? What’s in store for him?” And Jesus says, “Don’t concern yourself with that. You’re diverting the conversation, Peter. Focus on what I’ve been saying to you. You follow me.”
Jesus knows our past, our present and our future. He’s called us, not once but many times and we’ve responded, often stumblingly, but at least we’re still walking with him. Could it be that at this point in our story he’s coming to bless, to heal, to encourage, to challenge and to commission us again? Perhaps he is inviting us as people of faith to rediscover the joy of being loved and forgiven and then to hear him ask, “Do you love me? Then feed my lambs. Take care of my sheep.” And if we are truly seeking to feed the lambs and take care of the flock, it can, especially in days like these, be a dangerous and, at times, unpopular calling. To underwrite all the words we have spoken, the statements we have made with our lives, to go the little, vulnerable way of Jesus and to be led where we do not always want to go is going to demand of us, I believe, more than we have ever given before. But Jesus says, “Do you love me more?” What would it mean for us to love him more? We won’t know until we respond and continue on the journey of what it means to follow him. There may be times when we will long to go back to the comfort zone of who we used to be before he found us. There may be occasions when out of weariness or uncertainty or fear of the unknown we will be tempted to focus on someone else’s discipleship rather than our own, but the bottom line for us as it was for Peter is, “Lord, you know everything. You know I love you.”
And I suppose, to put it very simply, that’s what our spiritual journey is all about, namely to grow ever more deeply into this love relationship with Jesus. That, more than anything, is what nurtures our spirituality and equips us to feed the lambs and take care of the sheep. As we take one step after another we will become aware that it is always in this present moment that Jesus chooses us and calls us to follow him. That is what will remain when everything else passes away. That is what will hold us, as it held Peter, at the end of all things, which is also, for those with the eyes of faith, a new beginning.