A BROKEN AND REPENTANT HEARTReading: Psalm 51
There’s an old saying, “Confession is good for the soul!” This was surely true in David’s case. He was a great king, a mighty warrior, specially chosen and favoured by God, but, like every other human being, he had his Achilles heel, his weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Perhaps he had reached the point in his life and position in his kingdom where he thought he had the right to take what he wanted. He certainly was not impervious to temptation. The temptation on this occasion was Bathsheba, wife of one of his faithful warriors, Uriah. He committed adultery with Bathsheba and arranged to have her husband killed. One man had the courage to confront him, one man who feared God more than the King’s wrath. This was Nathan the prophet. He told David a story highlighting a grave injustice done by one rich and powerful man to another who was poor and powerless. David was incensed and demanded to know who it was had committed such a dastardly deed so that he might be punished. It was then that Nathan declared in ringing tones, “It’s you. You are the man!” When David was jolted into recognising the enormity of what he had done, of where his lust had led him, he realised that he had not only sinned against human beings, but against God. By his own actions, he had placed himself outside the covenant relationship that was so vital to him. Nathan then assured him that God had forgiven him although he would have to live with some of the consequences of his actions. This psalm of confession and repentance is a cry from David’s broken and repentant heart. But it is also a cry from the hearts of every man, every woman who, recognising their deliberate rebellion and its devastating results, throw themselves on to the mercy of God who is full of unfailing love and unending compassion.
David had a vibrant relationship with God. He knew deep within his being that God was the source of his own life, the ground of his being and that honouring God was the key to the welfare of the nation. Because he knew that the personhood of God was characterized by faithfulness, by steadfast love, compassion, truth and righteousness, he also, almost paradoxically, knew that although he himself had through his actions stamped upon all of these, they were still the virtues he could appeal to in his brokenness. If he had been unfaithful, God remained faithful. He could not be false to himself. David had to search himself, to be totally honest about what he had done, to admit that any judgment he received from God would be well deserved, but at the same time he knew that there was nowhere else, in his shame, his vulnerability and self loathing that he could fling himself but upon the mercy of this God whom he trusted and worshipped – even now. It was not that he was pleading special privilege because he was the chosen king, the Lord’s anointed and that, whatever he did he would be welcomed back. No! This was the David whose relationship with God had been forged through trusting him for his very life as a young shepherd defending his flock against wild animals, when he stood alone against Goliath, when he became the target of the madness of King Saul and through all the battles he had fought to weld a single nation out of recalcitrant tribes. But perhaps the biggest enemy he faced was the enemy within, those parts of his inner being yet to be redeemed, the weaknesses/sin that kept tripping him up. And the only way he could win such a battle was to wrestle with himself and with God until he came to a deeper knowing of what was most important to him. “Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.” He knew that God didn’t want rituals or a going through the outward motions of repentance from him. What God wanted was one who had been broken by the realisation of what he had done, but in that brokenness and in that recognition knew that there would be forgiveness and restoration and a joy that could then be shared with others.
We could spend a whole year on this psalm alone and still not plumb the depths of its wisdom, its searing honesty, its understanding of the human condition and its restoration of hope. It is probably the best known psalm of confession and repentance, but perhaps we can only pray it with integrity when we have reached the level of relationship and the depth of trust that David had. For those who feel very insecure, who have a poor self-image, who have never known themselves to be the beloved of God, it’s hard to confess to wrongdoing because to do so pushes them further into worthlessness, rejection and a sense of failure. Their sense of remorse can lead to further self-destruction rather than to repentance which really means a turning around, seeing things differently. How can they turn around if what they believe they will find is another black hole, instead of the loving embrace of a God who loves them still, no matter what they’ve done or who they think themselves to be? Maybe the challenge to us, like David, who know themselves to be broken, repentant, forgiven – and beloved, is to be channels of the love and mercy and grace that we have received to such as these so that they may perhaps return to God with confidence, trusting in his promise of forgiveness.